Dealing With Thorn-People
Sometimes working in our gifts becomes tiresome, especially when it seems as if those gifts are unappreciated. These feelings become more acute when instead of unappreciated gifts we get animosity from those we are trying to help. Things can get downright hostile when we are confronted with people not just rejecting our help but shouting at us that we’re wrong. Our natural reaction is to fight them, but maybe we should do something different?
"Ugly Lamp" by rreihm is licensed under CC BY 2.0.
1 Now these are the last words of David. David the son of Jesse declares, The man who was raised on high declares, The anointed of the God of Jacob, And the sweet psalmist of Israel,
2 "The Spirit of the LORD spoke by me, And His word was on my tongue.
3 "The God of Israel said, The Rock of Israel spoke to me, 'He who rules over men righteously, Who rules in the fear of God,
4 Is as the light of the morning when the sun rises, A morning without clouds, When the tender grass springs out of the earth, Through sunshine after rain.'
5 "Truly is not my house so with God? For He has made an everlasting covenant with me, Ordered in all things, and secured; For all my salvation and all my desire, Will He not indeed make it grow?
6 "But the worthless, every one of them will be thrust away like thorns, Because they cannot be taken in hand;
7 But the man who touches them Must be armed with iron and the shaft of a spear, And they will be completely burned with fire in their place."
2 Samuel 23:1-7 (NASB)
The lesson for week 19 opened with the following statement and question:
Are we the thorns that people should be armed against us or are we as the tender grass, comfortable underfoot on a spring day? What does your light look like?
In the scripture passage for the lesson verses six and seven go on to expand on the thorns telling us, “…they cannot be taken in hand.” What does that mean? Why is it then important that anyone who comes into contact with them be “…armed with iron and the shaft of a spear…” These are tools of war and conflict. Shouldn’t we be prepared to minister to these lost souls, these wayward individuals who are in opposition to themselves (making decisions that are not in their own best interest?) Let’s take those one at a time.
What does “…they cannot be taken in hand.” mean?
Have you ever met someone who asked you a question, you gave them the answer, and they told you you were wrong? You knew the answer was right but they insisted you were wrong. You tried to explain to them the sky is blue, and even took them outside to show them the color of the cloudless sky. Still, they insisted the sky is red even while they stood under a blue sky.
You can double down with these people and insist they are wrong. You have all the evidence, the smoking gun if you will to prove it too. But they insist you are the one who is incorrect. Frustration builds as you argue with them growing more heated. Finally, as you reach out to physically take hold of them hoping the personal contact will make a difference, they brush you aside and move away not willing to be, “…taken in hand.”
It doesn’t matter what you do or say, these people cannot be reasoned with. They have made up their mind things are a certain way and nothing anyone can say will change that. Reality will change that.
Why is it then important that anyone who comes into contact with them be “…armed with iron and the shaft of a spear…?”
People who cannot be reasoned with are unpredictable. For things you see and know as certainties, truth, and reality the Thorn-person has damaged judgment. There is no telling what position they take on any given subject. There is no understanding their “logic” when it fails to follow reason. There is no trusting them because they are so unpredictable, so damaged in reasoning as to come to uncertain conclusions that cause them to act in ways sane people would not act. If your life puts you in close contact with people like this it is best to put your armor on and have your weapons ready to hand. You might have to use them either against the thorn-person or someone they have attracted because crazy draws in crazy.
Shouldn’t we be prepared to minister to these lost souls, these wayward individuals who are in opposition to themselves (making decisions that are not in their own best interest?)
23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.
24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
2 Timothy 2:23-26 (KJV)
We can and should speak truth at all times, even to those who oppose what is in their own best interests. We should be “…armed with iron and the shaft of a spear…” in case they try to harm us or those we love. We should absolutely confront lies and falsehood when we see it, but we should not expect that our efforts will be what turn them from their path of stupidity. Verse twenty-five notes it is God who will change their hearts and return them to the truth, not us. We should neither stop speaking the truth nor grow weary when our efforts do not bear fruit. It is not our task to change a heart. God and the Holy Spirit do that. We are to be obedient to the truth and steadfast in His ways. He will do the rest.
Okay, leave it to God but that doesn’t change the question of “What should I do” when confronted by a thorn-person who cannot let it go? Let’s make this even more uncomfortable. Are there times when maybe you are the thorn-person? Are there times when you are the recalcitrant person who refuses to listen to actual evidence because it might mean you are wrong and must change your point of view? If we are honest with this question, the answer is yes, there are times we are all the thorn-person to someone else, but what do we do about that?
That answer, thankfully is simple but it takes a little time to work through. Think about a subject or belief you hold for which you absolutely refuse to budge your opinion. Now, in your mind play out the idea that someone approaches you with what they believe is hard evidence to the contrary of that belief. How would you want them to present that data? How would you want them to speak to you? How would you want them to tell you, you are wrong and here is why?
This approach can be summed up with, “Treat your neighbor the way you would want to be treated.” It can also be stated in scripture:
13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
14 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."
15 But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.
17 For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.
Galatians 5:13-17 (NASB)
The natural human inclination when someone tells us we are wrong is to fight. The flesh wants to do battle over being wrong. We want to go to war to prove we are right. The problem is, sometimes we are not and it is hard to know when we are or are not right. Sometimes, there is the possibility that we are wrong and cannot prove it one way or the other. Sometimes, there is the possibility that both parties are right but it is again difficult to tell.
With the ultimate goal of winning souls for Jesus, what should we do in those situations where we believe we are right, but there is the possibility the other side might be right too? Is there an example of something like this? There absolutely is.
Take any scripture passage out of the Bible you believe you understand. Now, go ask someone what they think that passage means? Chances are better than fifty/fifty they will disagree with what you think that passage means. The best known example of this is the doctrine of Predestination verses Free Will.
This debate has been going on for literally over a thousand years. Both camps have hard-core scriptural backing for what they believe, not taken out of context. Not cherry picked. Not contextually criticized or massaged to make it say what they want. Good old rock-solid scriptural “proof” they are right. Who is right? Who is wrong? How do you know? The problem here is that because we are not God, we cannot be 100%, absolutely certain, without a shadow of a doubt positive one side is right or wrong. There is the possibility that my opinion is wrong. What do we do in this case?
This is simple too, and at once very difficult. It also has backing in scripture. Rather than explain it first, I will quote the scripture passage and then close with the explanation. I am going to quote quite a few single scriptures but feel free to find them in your own Bible. I encourage you to read those that call to you in context.
23 But He turned and said to Peter, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interests, but man's."
Matthew 16:23 (NASB)
7 "Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!
Matthew 18:7 (NASB)
23 but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness,
1 Corinthians 1:23 (NASB)
9 But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.
1 Corinthians 8:9 (NASB)
14 'But I have a few things against you, because you have there some who hold the teaching of Balaam, who kept teaching Balak to put a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, to eat things sacrificed to idols and to commit acts of immorality.
Revelation 2:14 (NASB)
13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way.
Romans 14:13 (NASB)
The last one from Romans 14 is the one I had in mind as the point. They are all very good and have aspects of what a stumbling block is and does. However, my point in this writing is this: I might be wrong and the other person right so to make sure I do not inhibit them from making disciples for Jesus I need to let them go about their business. Why? That answer is also in scripture.
4 Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
Romans 14:4 (NASB)
I can disagree with them, say they are wrong, even judge them in an earthly fashion and not support their efforts. But I do not need to hinder those efforts because they just might be walking the path God laid out for them. I do not want to step before the judgment seat of Christ and have to answer His question of why I stopped His servant from doing what He asked them to do. That is not a conversation I want to have, so I choose to err on the side of caution and let Jesus judge the actions of those I disagree with. I would encourage you to likewise not place stumbling blocks before others as well. I absolutely think you should speak your mind, say what you believe is true, and counter what you believe is false. But, if those people confess Jesus as their savior, have scriptural backing for their actions, and believe they are walking the path of God who are we to hinder their steps?