Do Apperances Drive People Away?
Normally, on Wednesday, I would post my answers to the questions in the Sunday school lesson from the previous Sunday. We didn’t have class last Sunday, so we haven’t gone over week 12’s material yet. The following scripture popped up, so I thought I would expand on my thoughts about why it was important to include in the Lenten study of Job for today.
"Tragedy & Comedy" by Phil W Shirley is marked with CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.
16 “Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
17 “But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face
18 so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Matthew 6:16-18 (NASB)
This passage came up today as I went through the Lenten study of Job chapter 30. Job is in the midst of a lot of troubles in his life. In verse twenty-seven, he states, “I am seething within and cannot relax….” That got me thinking about his outward appearance to his friends and the people around him. He probably has a very dower expression on his face. He likely has a frown on his face, wrinkles on his brow and around his eyes, and is a bit snappish. He isn’t eating well, finding only bitter herbs and roots for his sustenance. Low blood sugar probably has him snapping at people around him, and he has physical ailments causing him discomfort he can’t get rid of.
Now, let’s shift a minute and talk about Jesus’ words about fasting. Fasting is a voluntary discomfort we put ourselves through as an act of piety. We give up eating either altogether or certain foods. As the sensation of hunger intrudes on our minds, the discipline says to stop a moment and pray. That prayer is to enlighten us about God’s purpose or will for our lives, or we are to center ourselves on the subject of the fast. Fasting is frequently done in conjunction with something a person needs guidance on, is seeking favor from God, or asking for God to intercede in some event. The hunger pangs become a key to sending out intercessory prayers on behalf of something else. The deprivation of self is a sacrifice we choose to make to help fuel that intercessory activity. In short, we are in discomfort.
Jesus tells us to make sure we do not outwardly broadcast our discomfort during this time of deprivation. Broadcasting our distress causes those around us to fix their attention upon us to inquire after our well-being. We become the center of attention when trying to draw God’s attention to the reason behind our fast. When we become the center of attention rather than the subject of our fast, we supplant that subject as the reason for the fast. The attention of others paid to our distress becomes the response we sought, and God no longer needs to respond because we aren’t committing an act of piety anymore. We are committing the sin of pride as we put ourselves in the spotlight.
Fasting is voluntary distress, a sacrifice we make to draw in God’s attention. What if we apply Jesus’ words not just to the voluntary distress of fasting but to any distress we face? Yes, our friends help when they see us in distress or ask about our well-being. However, what happens if our distress isn’t alleviated and the outward expression of distress continues for an extended period as it did with Job? Do our friends continue to walk with us in our problems? Some do, but most do not. Why? Because we all have our own problems. To help you with your problems, I have to put my own issues aside. By definition, if I am working on your problems, I cannot be working on my own at the same time. People instinctively know that. Eventually, our own problems rear their ugly heads again, and we have to focus on them. Once our attention is broken from dealing with someone else’s issues, it is very difficult to pull them back into helping. They have their own problems to deal with, and if you make me choose between dealing with your problems or my own, most often, people will deal with their own rather than someone else’s.
With an ongoing problem, we need the help of other people. We have to ask for that help. If I have an outward appearance of distress, discomfort, and worry, that is not an inviting appearance. However, if I ask for help and have a calm, well-kept, and pleasant demeanor, my appearance communicates that my problems aren’t complicated or troubling. Perhaps the amount of assistance I need isn’t as engrossing or time-consuming as it might sound. Which appearance would you want to be around if you worked with someone?
Problems and troubles are burdens to be carried, work to be done. Certainly, I don’t want to be a burden to other people. However, some things in life just need other people to help accomplish. We may try to handle our lives on our own, but God gave Adam a helpmeet because He knew we all need help from time to time. God also knew companionship is what we were made for. Men and women need companionship from the opposite sex for some reasons, but men need fellowship from other men, and women need fellowship from other women. In these groups, we find others who understand what we are going through, who can help us carry our burdens, and from whom we can draw strength to keep going. Corporate worship in a church is where the people of God encounter the Kingdom of God and where we draw strength from His love, His Word, and His children.
9 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.
10 For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NASB)